I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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