I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize