I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
