we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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