piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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