wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
