I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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