Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
