You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
