all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
