He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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