Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize