windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
