do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
