Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
