yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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