I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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