so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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