Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
