i don't like sucking hair
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
