garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
