She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm really busy with my period
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