I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
