it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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