i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
