can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
