Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
