I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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