Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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