capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
