Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
