it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
