i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
