my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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