I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
