I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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