Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
