can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
