turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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