Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
