About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
