i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
