Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize