Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize