'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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