How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
