She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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