She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize