i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
