I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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