i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
