Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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