i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
