Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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