you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
