apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
