Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
