I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
