You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize