He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
