I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
