1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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