the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
