I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
