I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
