If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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