youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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