Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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