Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
