i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
