Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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